Dark Times

The bad economy is really not news at this point, but it really finally has hit home for me. Well, for awhile now I've had a tough time getting a job but to certain extent I've chalked it up to my poor interviewing skills combined with a lack of local positions. But today my father lost his job.

This is such a profound shock as I can't remember the last time my father lost his job. I know it happened back in 70's when the economy was bad. But I've grown up with that stability all my life, knowing that my parents will always be all right.

Moreover, I have to put my own house plans on hold in order to help keep them afloat. I can't explain how much this sucks. Just two days ago, the fi and I were getting together stuff to go get pre-approved and making wedding plans.

I'm trying not to be bitter, but to be so close and to lose it all hurts so much. I know it sounds selfish compared to what my parents are going through, but the fi and I worked really hard and made a lot of sacrifices to get to this point.

I don't know what to do next. For now, all I can do is sub and hopefully our plans won't be put on hold for long.

Bleh....

I'm sick. Figures. Stayed home today because I felt so bleh. Not much in the way of news or anything interesting. Watching the election. Working on novel. There's a lot of stuff coming up, mostly family things--outings, parties, and the like.

I will say this though, as an observation. One day, I will learn to keep my mouth shut. I will learn that I don't have to be so damn nice. One day....hopefully...

And I Hate When Things Are Over...

...And so much is left undone.

I keep catching that song on the radio which is odd because it an older song.

Anyways, the lyric seemed appropriate as my long term sub job is about to come to an end. My last day is Wednesday, then its back to good old one-day-at-a-time subbing. Its kind of bittersweet for me. On the one hand, once this is over I'll have more time to myself. No more grading papers or writing lessons plans or stressing out all night about what I'm doing the next day. On the other hand, I really enjoyed being a regular classroom teacher again and actually teaching, as opposed to the babysitting I normally end up doing. I guess the final straw that tips more towards sweet and less toward bitter is that I wasn't getting paid the same as a normal classroom teacher.

In other news, Warhammer Online came out....and yes, I got a copy. And yes, I'm already playing it way too much. I like it better than I liked WoW. But keep in mind, that comparison is between WoW in its current state an WAR in its just beginning state. It would be harder to make comparisons between WoW at the beginning and WAR.

Still, hopefully I won't neglect DoI. Chapter 10 is at a "good part" as it were.

Down with paper plate whores!

One of my favorite seamstreses for ren faire garb is the Very Merry Seamstress. She is on the list of those whose garb I would like to some day own. As awesome as her garb is, her blog is even awesomer.

Her latest is rant against Dixie's latest commerical. And I have to say I agree with her.

So I'm post a link here in hopes that more people will see her most excellent post that pretty much sums out how I felt when I first saw that commerical.

But just to add on to her critique (which you should go read first), the add is also just horrible sexist. It plays to such horrible stereotypes. After all, its only "moms" who worry about family time, do the cooking, and, of course, wash the dishes.

I have to go make dinner, but we will be using some wonderful china that my grandmother gave me.

Epic Fail

At least that's how I feel right. I just had a major opprotunity I feel like I blew it...

Tarot

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I'm not surprised by this. The High Priestess comes up frequently in my readings.

By the way, when doing Tarot readings it is very important to focus your question. I did a general reading for myself last night and said I wanted to know about "everything" going. Boy, did I get the most dismal, depressing reading. Then I realized I was getting a sort of "general state of the world reading". Bad news for the world I guess.

My sister's cat.

Taken from her site again.

An update, because in real life there are no such things as miracles.I went
up to the vets on Friday all excited at the chance of bringing home my cat. We
got there and they were super busy with other pet emergencies. Since I've been
up there almost everyday for a week, I just let myself into the back. They all
know me at this point so it wasn't a big deal. I took Diz out of his ICU unit
and sat down on the floor with him waiting for them to get to us. They still had
to give him some fluids and shots and take out his IV. We were probably there
over an hour before everything got taken care of. Like I said, they were busy
with lots of emergencies. The doctor knocked some money off the bill for me and
everything ended up being just under a grand. Still exspensive but way better
than what we were all expecting. She also gave me her cell number in case
anything happened. She told me to call if there was a problem or I had a
question and it didn't matter what time of day. Seriously one of the best vets
I've ever dealt with. Then I wrapped up Diz in a blanket and we headed for
home.When we got home, I set him down on the floor and he knew he was home. He
tried his best to walk, but without the use of his back legs he didn't get far.
He did drag himself for a couple of steps. I made him a bed in a big cardboard
box and set it by the bay windows in my room. I tried to make him as comfortable
as possible. I massaged his back legs like I was instructed. I tried to give him
some water. I stayed with him as long as I could before sleep set in.Saturday
morning, I woke up and checked in on him. He was crying a bit and I realized
that he had wet his towels. I took him out and cleaned his box up. I massaged
his legs again. I gave him some water again. I made sure he was doing okay and
then left to run some errands in town. When I got home, I went to check on him.
Something wasn't right. It was like he was having spasms and his breathing was
weird. I called my mom. She came and checked his heart with her stethoscope. She
said his lungs were filling with fluids again. I called the vet. His eyes began
to glaze. I was told there was nothing I could do. Just before noon as I sat in
the streaming sunlight in the living room, my cat died in my arms. I somehow
ended up back in my room, holding my dead cat and just crying. Eventually my mom
came in with a box. My dad was digging a hole next to where our family dog was
buried. Our dog died back in April. We got him at the same time as the cat.I
don't know what to say anymore. With all I've lost in the past two years, you'd
think this would get easier. Nothing is easy.

My Sister's Animal Woe's (more Bad Things)

The following is from my sister's web comic, 21deadmonkeys. I went with Hoss to take Cheese to the vet but wasn't there for the rest. I feel really bad and wish I could help her out more. I have a little surprised for her but it's really not going to be enough.

Oh, how cruel life can be.I've noticed that my dog, Cheese, has had a limp
for a little over a week now. So on Tuesday, I had Hossome take him in to see
the vet. Turns out Cheesy has a fucked up knee and is going to need surgery.
Surgery is going to cost somewhere between $1600 - $1800. The x-rays alone were
like $300. This is quite the suck, but I have to take care of my dog and I
somehow have to find a way to make this work.Cut to later in the evening on that
same Tuesday. Me and some friends are about to head out to catch the new Hulk
flick. Before we even get to the car, we see my cat lying underneath one of our
cars. His eyes are glazed over and he's gasping for air. As I pull him out from
under the car, I can hear gurgling in his lungs. We nixed the theater plans and
drove to the vet's office which was already closed. We found another vet nearby
and went there. I walk into this place with tears streaming down my face and
clutching my cat. Right away they realize his breathing is fucked up and they
take him into the back. I don't even know how long we were there. It seemed like
all night. His lungs were full of fluid. His stomach and intestines were full of
air. They told me it was heart failure and he'd be lucky to make it through the
night. On the way home, I got so sick that I actually threw up all over the
floor of Denny's and then went and slept in the car until the guys were ready to
go home. I've been through too much with my cat to see him like this.Well, cut
to Thursday night. After two days of crying and not sleeping, I made the drive
back up to the vet. It had been weighing on me all day that this was the day
that I'd have to put him down. The air was out of his lungs. The fluids had
drained out. He wasn't eating or drinking. He was dehydrated. He'd somehow lost
the use of his back legs though. It was all unexplained. He'd surprised
everybody at the vet's office by living this long. I told them he was a fighter.
They found out the hard way as I saw his paws were taped so that he wouldn't
claw them. Walking into that back room, I was prepared for the worst. I thought
it was over. Then my cat sat up. And he tried to walk. He still didn't have the
use of his back legs, but he tried to walk anyways.So now I'll be going up
Friday to pick him up. They said it's possible that within a week or two he
might actually walk again. I'm not overly optimistic on that front. Still, I'm
bringing him home. I figure if he's going to fight for his life, then I'm going
to fight with him. I still haven't figured out how I'm going to pay his vet
bills (they're huge). And what's more, since I did all of this for my cat, I
don't know what I'm going to do about Cheese. Talking it over with people, it
looks like I won't be quitting the factory at the end of July like I thought I
would be. It kills me to say that too. You guys have no idea how bad I want out
of there. Just last week I basically told my boss off and that I'd be quitting
in August. Now I'm stuck there a bit longer. I have to get out soon though. I
don't want to be a lifer. I guess I can't complain too much. I'm getting my cat
for a little bit longer. Here's to miraclces. off the train,